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If you’re not on this bandwagon yet, it’s time to jump on it. It’s the bandwagon of ditching mainstream theology and finally getting down to what YOU believe about God.

In my “dark night of the soul”, I had to figure out what or who was the source of my torment. Growing up in church I was told it was God allowing pain so I could be a person He could actually do something with. The problem with that messed up ideology is it makes God the abuser, defying His own laws of justice.


“But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet to warn the people and the sword comes and takes someone’s life, that person’s life will be taken because of their sin, but I will hold the watchman accountable for their blood.’” Ezekiel 33:6

By God’s own decree, if you see the predator coming and don’t warn the prey, you are guilty of their blood.

Would God not hold Himself accountable to what He deems just? Would God make Himself guilty by not warning you of danger before it happens? God “will not let you stumble” (Psalm 121:3). But you might let you stumble.


“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due [its rightful recipients], When it is in your power to do it.” Proverbs 3:27

It is always within God’s power to do good for you. He cannot withhold it or He becomes a liar.

He is a good Father. And because of Jesus, you are the rightful recipient of good (Strong’s 2896: pleasant, agreeable to the senses). Pain isn’t good for you. It isn’t pleasant or agreeable to your senses. It is PAIN. Pain comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). It takes life from you. It has no power to give life.


“When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone;” James 1:13

When we are in pain, we are never to draw a conclusion that God is testing us.

Tempt: peirazó, Strong’s #3985 - to make proof of, to attempt, test, to try, make trial of, to solicit to sin, scrutinize.

What is testing if not soliciting to sin? God never tests you. He just doesn’t do it. Period. He can’t. It’s not in His nature. Somehow the church totally missed that Jesus was tested for us. God has no need to scrutinize us or put us on trial. He did that to Jesus. You were raised up into life and righteousness. What is there to test?


I had been a woman of prayer, studying the scriptures daily, for over 20 years when my life fell apart. I didn’t know how to dig myself out of depression from grief and loss, PTSD, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, and anxiety/panic attacks. I didn’t leave God but I left the ministry. I couldn’t take another sermon that was giving me answers but no solutions.

Don’t get me wrong here. I love the church even when she’s not acting like the church. I will serve the church for the rest of my life. But the church has lost more than just the proper translation of scripture. It’s lost its ability to solve people’s real-life problems.

To say God is allowing pain to train you is an answer (also, it’s a lie). But it isn’t a solution to your pain. It won’t help you walk out of pain. It won’t help you break free from destructive cycles. All it will do is cause you to accept an untruth about God so you can cope with your most life-dominating issues. Coping is managing and it certainly isn’t healing.

And that is all Christians around the world are doing…coping. They say they are helping others in their pain because they can relate. But all they can relate to are coping mechanisms that perpetuate the lie that God is the abuser and you should make peace with your pain.

I have no need in my life to make peace with pain. Not after all Jesus died to give me. Jesus didn’t make peace with pain. He defeated it. He put it in the pit of hell where it belongs.

And we can too. But the only way to do this is to put every ideology handed down to us on trial. We do this by testing them against the full council of scripture, not scripture taken out of context like pulpits across America do daily. And we stop reading the Bible in English for cryin’ out loud! Pull out a concordance and study keywords, if not every word in every scripture. This is part of the Biblical process of meditating day and night on the Word of God. We were never just supposed to read the Bible in a year just to check it off our good-Christian to-do list.

And definitely get a mentor. For the next two weeks, I feature an interview with my Hebrew/Aramaic teacher, Chaim Bentorah. I have studied under Chaim for years. Chaim received his B.A. in Jewish Studies from Moody Bible Institute, his M.A. in Old Testament and Hebrew from Denver Seminary, and his Ph.D. in Biblical Archeology.  His Doctoral Dissertation was on the “Esoteric Structure of the Hebrew Alphabet.” But most impressive, I think, is that Chaim has spent 4-5 hours a day for the last forty years studying the Bible in its original languages. Chaim was studying under those who translated the NIV in the 70s and witnessed firsthand how truth in translating was kicked to the curb in favor of money.

Yep. It’s that bad.

But the good news is that Chaim’s thousands of hours of teaching are available on his blog, daily word study emails, Full Access membership, and in his books. His studies will take you deeper into the heart of God than you’ve ever been before.

Photo: https://unsplash.com/@priscilladupreez


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